Wednesday, August 19, 2020

歳のせいか猛暑のせいか、恐らくそのどちらもの理由でぐだぐだと過ごしている自分に嫌になりながらも倦怠感の日々が続きます。昨日もカフェ終了後、軽く夕食を済ませシャワーを浴びて時計を見たらまだ7時前。サッパリしたものの眠くて仕方なく、「よし、もう寝よっ」とベッドへ。ゆっくり睡眠の後ふと時計を見るとまだ4時前。もう一度眠ろうかちょっとためらったけれどふいに「夜明け前の色のない世界を見なければ!」と急いで着替えて外に飛び出しました。東の空には細い三日月と明けの明星(金星)が光り辺りはまだ闇に包まれています。こんなに朝早く多賀大社へ参拝するのも珍しいと思いながらしっかりかしわ手を打ってお参り。森を抜けて進むと空は茜色の雲、間も無く昇ってくるだろう強い陽の光と山並みのシルエットが美しい。辺りは徐々に光を受けてそれぞれの色が出てきています。アヌイの戯曲に出てくる少女アンチゴーヌが心をときめかした色のない世界はほんのわずかの時間。それでも夜明けの風の心地よさは例えようがなく気持ちいいもの。あてにしないで行った「きまぐれ市」には思いがけず大きなカボチャ(200円)とみずほあられの袋(100円)が入っていました。2kgのカボチャを抱えながら帰ってきた時、お日様はまだ山から顔を出していませんでした。Either because of this terrible hot weather or because of my age, or maybe because of both reasons, I am spending the days lazily even though I don't like doing this myself. But honestly I feel tired these days. For example, yesterday after closing the cafe, I ate my quick dinner and refreshed myself to take a shower but still felt tired even though it was still before 7 p.m. So, I decided to go to bed much earlier than usual. When I woke up and looked at the time, it was before 4 a.m. I thought I'll go to sleep again, but refrained from it because I wanted to take a look at the world without color before dawn. Then I changed my clothes and went out of my house in a hurry. I could see the thin crescent moon and Venus which was glowing strongly in the east sky, but everything was quiet and still dark. I went up to Taga Shrine to greet God first. It is a very rare experience to go to a shrine at such an extremely early hour. Walking through the shrine woods, there were beautiful clouds which were shining in red and I could see the strong light beyond the mountains which obviously indicates we expect the sun to rise shortly. The mountains were so dark and it showed a beautiful silhouette line. Everything was gradually receiving the light and got color." The world without color before dawn" is a line spoken by Antigone in the French play by Jean M.L.P. Anouilh. A teenage girl, Antigone was amazed by the world without color before dawn, but I realized that it is a very short time before changing into a colored world. However, the fresh and cool air before the sun came up from the mountains still made me feel very good. I walked up to Kimagure-ich without any expectation but fortunately I found a big Kabocha (squash) and a pack of Japanese rice crackers in the vending machine. When I came home with kabocha and rice crackers, the sun hadn't come out of the mountains yet.